


He Lied

by Jadeycakes99



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Flashbacks, M/M, Soulless Sam Winchester, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 18:12:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3143816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadeycakes99/pseuds/Jadeycakes99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He didn't know whether it was the moon, or his position on the bed, or the feeling in the air, but Sam was remembering something." Sam regains some memories, he'd rather not have. While he's known about his brother's crush for a while, he never thought Dean would act on it, especially when Sam was soulless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Lied

He didn't know whether it was the moon, or his position on the bed, or the feeling in the air, but Sam was remembering something.  
It was a night rather like tonight, but Sam was without a soul, bored, and horny. He wanted to go out, but Dean was insistent about staying at the motel and helping him with research.  
"We can't go out for, an hour, tops?" Sam complained.  
"No. Now start researching." Dean replied dismissively. Sam flopped back onto his bed with his arms under his head.

"But.." He was cut off.

"No. After we nail this, you can go pick up dirty hippies or whatever it is you're into, galore, but for now, we have a job to do." Sam sighed and started working, but he was still bored. This case would probably just be a boring salt-and-burn like the last two. He decided to have some fun.

"Why don't just you and I go out?" Sam replied casually. "No dirty hippies, promise."

"I need to focus. We've been researching this for days, and no leads."

"Well, all work and no play..."

"Fine." Sam fake grumbled. He rolled off the bed, crawling on his knees to the other bed.

When Dean felt a hand grab his crotch, he jumped up.

"Dammit, Sam! If you want to go out, fine. This right here," He said, slapping the hand away, "is way across the line."

"I don't want to go out anymore." Sam grinned at the frustration in his brother's voice. He put his hand back where it was, only to be slapped away again."I want to stay in with my big brother." Dean slammed his laptop shut and tossed it aside before standing up to grab his coat. Sam blocked his path to leave.

"Sam, boundaries. I get it, you don't have a conscience, but this, what you're doing, is wrong."

"You know, I've known you had less than brotherly feelings for me about two months after we were back on the road." Sam said truthfully. Dean looked away, pain was in his eyes, and Sam noticed it, which made him smile further. "What you didn't know, is I felt the same way." He lied. Dean's head snapped up, and he looked, shocked, scared, sad, but the glimmer of hope in his eyes was very evident to Sam, who schooled his expression as soon as Dean looked up. He made his face look trustworthy and empathetic. "I love you Dean, in more ways than you know about." He made himself look a little sad, though, he was laughing on the inside.

"Sam, not until you get your soul back. If that's true, we can talk about it, but Sam..." Sam was struggling to keep his internal laughter out of his voice, because of course it wasn't true. Sure, Sam knew about how Dean felt, but he has always done his best to stay far away from that, until now, of course.

"Please Dean. I still love you. I want you. That feeling has always felt so strong, I even feel it without a soul." He struggled for a moment, but he eventually produced a tear which he was proud to let fall down his cheek. he commended himself on his newly found acting ability.

"Sam I..." Sam hushed him and pulled him into a kiss. Dean hesitated, but eventually followed suit. After a moment, he brought his hand down to grope the front of Dean's jeans. Dean bucked at the surprise touch.

"It's okay." Sam soothed while rolling his eyes in his head. Who would have thought that someone who had been attracted to him for six years would put up such a struggle when he got what he wanted.

The rest of the night was a blur, but Sam could guess what had happened, so he threw up.

"Jeez, Sammy!" Dean exclaimed when he saw the puke on the floor. "Are you okay?" Sam was shaking, and when Dean came to check on him, he yelled. Dean jumped away, surprised at his brother's state, but again tried to go check on him.

"No! Don't touch me. Please," Sam said. Dean wasn't to blame, and Sam knew that. It had been his own fault, Sam knew that, but it explained the lovestruck look on his face, and how last time when the waitress flirted with Dean, Dean stared at him for a full minute before flirting back, but with less gusto than usual.

"Flu?" Asked Dean sympathetically.

"We had sex." Sam responded, looking up at him in shock. Dean's mouth opened, but no words came out. "Dean, I am so sorry. I knew, but I shouldn't have... Oh my God, I am so sorry."

"Woah, calm down. We didn't have sex, okay?" Dean was flushed and he was damn near tears. He never meant for Sam to remember the kiss and what followed.

"But Dean..."

"We didn't I swear, I wouldn't... I wouldn't do that, you weren't Sam."

"But Dean, I remember the kiss and I was tou-" Sam heaved again at the memory.

"Yeah that disgusting thing happened." Dean started sounding like a mix of hurt and desperation. It broke Sam's heart. "But we never had sex."

"Are you sure?"

"Dammit Sam, I'm positive, and until you are, I think we should take some space." Dean grabbed his coat and left angrily, with purpose. After Sam was done feeling guilty and filthy, though remnants of the feelings remained, like always, especially when he remembered something horrible he did while without a soul, and he cleaned his mess and showered, he tried calling Dean, but he was cut off after the first ring. 

Dean didn't come back from wherever he was the entire night, and Sam decided to get some shuteye.

"Wait- wait!" Dean yelled, sitting up from his position on the bed where Sam was about to unzip his pants.

"What now?" Sam groaned.

"Not until you have your soul back. Please?" He looked at Sam hopefully.

"What's the matter? Are you scared I'm going to hurt you?" He asked jokingly, going back to the zipper, but he was shoved off again. Sam sighed loudly.

"Fine." He walked over to where his shirt was laying on the floor and put it back on before flopping onto his 'own' bed and started looking through the police report again. Dean walked over to his bed. "Yeah?" Sam asked. Dean opened his mouth, but instead opted to lay on the bed next to Sam. Meanwhile, Sam wasn't really sure what to do, he was looking at the report, finding nothing, again, but Dean was kind of in the way. He was laying on his arm, and the papers were getting all floppy. When he heard a light snore, he gently shoved Dean's shoulder off his arm, and went to the bar where he met and went home with an Asian girl named Alison. When Sam woke up, Dean was walking in.

"Don't worry. I'm just here to pick up some things." Dean was scarlet again.

"Dean, I'm sorry. I was horrible."

"Can we just..."

"No. Dean, I have to tell you, I've known about how you felt for awhile, and sure, at first I was a little creeped out, but I love you. Not like... that, but you are my brother and I've looked up to you for forever, and I've never hated you, ever." He said in a voice that demanded to be heard.

"Thanks. You too. Look, Sammy, I think I need some time away." His voice held all the pain the night before plus some, but Sam let him go. Dean needed space.


End file.
